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People Who Listen to Johnny Marr

People who listen to Johnny Marr
while driving
are three times more likely to
cede right of way
acknowledge thanks
smile
wave
stay awake on tedious journeys

People who listen to Johnny Marr
while gardening
are seven times less likely to
be stung by a wasp
cut a worm in half
decapitate daffodils
ignore the hosepipe ban
kidnap the next-door-neighbour's cat

People who listen to Johnny Marr
while planning the end of the world
are almost certain to
experience an epiphany during track 6
pick up a guitar
fail to work out the guitar part for track 6
forget what they were doing
establish lasting world peace instead

Submitted by Fergus McGonigal, UK

oh you, you're a star
how godlike you are
inky-haired Adonis with a Fender guitar
I think I love you, Johnny Marr

my heart sticks to my ribcage
every time you walk onstage
nails silver-varnished,
brooches never tarnished,
you're sublime,
all the time

you beguile with your smile,
your impeccable style
eyes of caramel and whiskey
your tight jeans make me frisky

but your true beauty is your music
every note, every chord,
leaves me floored
my hero and my muse
who always wears
fab shoes.

Submitted by Bernadette Rumsen, UK

Johnny Fuckin Marr
Anxious to get there early,
Twenty-six years waiting,
Am I this age already?
Still really just fifteen

Standing with others,
Sisters and brothers,
Soak up the 45 list
Stick down the set list

Pre-cursory show, chance to shine,
Just a few songs, nods to the time,
We're not impatient, respecting the act,
It's all good, Meredith,
All good, fact!

Caught sight of J, off stage right,
Family business, enviously tight,
Can of Coke, watching his Nile,
Always done with impeccable style

The band is on, J is last,
'Right Thing Right', pulse is fast
'Stop Me...' stirs us,
Never before had the pleasure,
Strangeways live, we will always treasure

New songs, already classics to follow,
Kids soak it up, it's their 'Hatful of Hollow'
Another gem, fighting the law,
Immediately followed by Electronic, braw!

A riff most famous is rightly adored,
What for the encore?, we're already floored,
How else can we finish to best remember the night?
A super happy crowd-sung 'There is A Light...'
The final chord rings out from the Olympic White guitar,
This my friends, is Johnny Fuckin Marr

Submitted by Kenny Muir